As I worked hard to write and revise my book, chapter 6 really kicked my butt. To those closest to me during those days, this chapter became known as "the damn attachment chapter" or "the DAC" for short. My writing coach literally "threw" this chapter back at me over a dozen times. At several points, I almost threw in the towel and called it quits over this one portion of my book. He realized how frustrating this was for me. At one point, he asked me if I thought I would ever write another book. I hesitated and said uhhhhh. He replied, "Has the DAC scared you off?"
Why was this so hard? In hindsight - isn't this type of sight such a powerful thing? - it is not surprising that my most difficult work as a human being became the hardest thing for me to explain as an author.
Attachment is the beautiful back and forth dance of bonding that takes place, or sometimes does not, between a parent and a child. Early childhood years are the most critical. As a child, my attachment was not completely secure. As a mom, I passed on less than ideal emotional security to my children. There is pain and suffering that resides in this foundation of my life.
Yet there is also a great deal of hope and redemption in this space. I have come to see that life rolls out in this way. Our most painful stories can become offerings and then the door through which grace and joy enter. That is certainly my experience.
Up next week, I will tell the story of the setting for a breakthrough on the DAC. It happened on a lovely day in the midst of true friends.
Adopting Grace: A Parenting Journey from Fear to Freedom will be available for purchase on September 12.