Why my blog has been so quiet

It has been a very long time since I have entered this space. I have been busy!

After launching my book Adopting Grace, I imagined that I might be engaged in continued platform building. All of the conventional wisdom offered for authors these days revolves around platform building – numbers, numbers, numbers…

 I quickly realized that I am not so hot at marketing a book, but I do love that I wrote one! It was a critical step in my life’s journey. BUT many of the things that go along with platform building – ie lots and lots of time on social media and self-promotion – are not life giving for me. In fact, when I do them too much, they are soul-sucking and anxiety producing. It is good to know myself.

I have spent a lot of time in quiet meditation and listening mode over the past year. The passion that has risen to the top has to do with my work around Circle of Security Parenting (COSP). For anyone who has read Adopting Grace, this may not be a surprise. The most painful and challenging aspects of my life are greatly redeemed and make sense as I work very hard to spread a message of hope and healing around parenting to anyone who will listen. I love my work!

The view from my most frequent meditation spot

The view from my most frequent meditation spot

COSP is relationship and attachment based. It is the most beautifully distilled way (that I have encountered) to share and begin to understand the basic emotional needs of all children (all humans, actually) and invite parents from any and all backgrounds into a safe place for self-reflection. It is simple yet profound.

 I have connected with an amazing fellow lover and spreader of all things COSP. Susanne Walker Wilson lives in Asheville, NC, and together we are working hard to spread this parenting model to various spaces and places. From non-profits that work with families to faith communities to preschools and beyond, we are on a mission. I have committed both financial and time resources to this work. It brings me great joy.

 In just a few weeks, 29 people from across North Carolina will attend Circle of Security Parenting training in the Raleigh area. Susanne and I have worked hard to recruit, encourage, and find ways for these people to attend this 4-day training. When it is over, we will be alongside them to support and cheerlead as they share it in their specific workplaces and communities. It is so very exciting.

 COSP work is right in the middle of another growing movement around Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), trauma-informed care, and resilience. I am so very excited that there is traction around seeing children’s (and adult’s!) difficult behaviors from a new lens of compassion, scientific research, healing, and hope. On March 5, Susanne and I, along with our friend Tara Foster, are presenting at the Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina 2019 Summit. Our topic is: How the ‘Shark Music’ of Intergenerational and Historical Trauma Get in Our Way and How We Can Respond: Building Trust and Connection with Parents/Caregivers through Circle of Security Parenting.

 Shark Music is a COSP term that describes the triggers that happen as we interact with our children – the unconscious background music that plays as a result of our own childhoods - when it feels unsafe to meet a need for our child that is actually quite safe. Here is a short video that explains it beautifully. Everyone who watches it says, “ahhh yeah, I so relate to this.”

 I could go on and on…but I won’t!

 My husband is retiring in a few short days, my daughters are growing up and further out into the bigger world, and I am ramping up my work and focusing on my passions for this next season. Life is very exciting right now.

I hope to continue to blog on occasion and keep people informed about my COSP work, random writing, and beyond. I might even write another book someday. I sketched one out in about 15 minutes the other day! We shall see. For now, I enjoy being a volunteer writing coach alongside a dear friend and living vicariously through her author journey.

If you are involved in a non-profit or faith community that would like to know more about Circle of Security Parenting, click here , email, or message me. I am ALWAYS game to chat about that. You can also find me, sometimes…, on Facebook under Tricia Wilson, author.

This past Christmas, our family created a “Christmas wishlist” spreadsheet. As a joke, one of my children put under my name, “Circle of Security for everyone.” It is still on that wishlist, because it is still on mine. If we all embraced the truths of COSP, the world would be a much better place. Here’s to more healthy attachment, more parents who self-reflect, and to more open hearts for all who cross our paths.